from the kitchen cabinet

I’m not sure what it is but lately, I find photography of childhood compulsive. There are several photographers and blogs that I follow only for their incredible ability to capture the exquisitely, painfully, fleeting moments of growing up. Most of them are women. Most of them are mothers. In the same way that a cup of coffee with a friend amid the chaos of your children running each other over with scooters around the kitchen table, these images seem to put their arms around me and say “me too. I see it too.”

One of these photographers is Ashleigh Coleman: three babies, two cats, and a husband in rural Mississippi. I feel lucky to share these photographs from Ashleigh as well as an insight into her feelings as a mother behind the lens. Her talent reminds me of the art-science demand of architecture: the skill to manage light and dynamic, the patience to let the story arrive, and the craft to invite grace into the moment.

I have many favorites among these images, captured on a medium format Hasselblad camera, I’m sure you’ll find yours as well. 

From Ashleigh: For whatever reason, I internalized a model of ideal womanhood as one blissfully fulfilled by responsibilities as a mother. She bakes cookies. Decorates winsomely for all holidays. Plans elaborate homemade birthday parties. Spends hours playing games.

So what if I thought that was the type of woman I would be? Only to discover I am not.

The reality is that everyday mishaps feel shocking. Noise threatens to unglue. Baking rarely occurs. I am terrified of being used up, of losing myself, of not having coherent adult thoughts on world issues, whatever that even means.

Yet. Yet. These are my people. Here. In front of me. Now.

In this short—so older people tell me—intense season of life, one thing I ponder is how easy it is to view children as a herd—hooves always tromping, voices articulating, bodies gesticulating. Mercifully, meditatively, using medium format film gives me room to see the vistas, the light; maybe not in that exact second, but a month or two later, when I look at the scans. It allows me to see individuals with burgeoning strengths and foibles and independent thoughts.

My internal landscape also quiets when I am aware, simultaneously, of the chaos and the reality that this scene is fleeting. They are growing, daily; a fact that shuffles into the background during the monotony of redundant days. When I pause to compose a photograph, in that stillness, before the shutter is released, much need perspective charges into the horizon. Humor arrives.

11 thoughts on “from the kitchen cabinet

  1. i really felt ashleigh’s words. they felt so true. inspiring and humbling at once. like i no longer feel the anomaly for feeling just that. thank you

  2. It all goes so, so fast. Oh so fast. Those older people are correct. Enjoy every overwhelming, fleeting, at times mundane moment. These photos are everything. I wish I could reach back in time, on occasion, and touch that soft, squishy plump cheek that is now covered with razor stubble. They grow all too fast. Thanks for sharing these beautiful images.

    • Sorry for the delay. Ashleigh’s children go to a three-day a week program that assigns work for the other two days in between. It has a name…but I can’t remember it!

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