advice
Its a funny thing to feel like an old lady, grabbing young women by their ears and whispering: wear crop tops. But really, the unstretched belly is a remarkable thing (as is the stretched belly—tattooed, if you will, with your baby’s first genetic traces on this good earth). Though my Christian high school never would have allowed it, I think such urban outfitters fashions should be relished when you have the chance.
Now, the truth is, I probably would not have worn a crop top. And therein lies the trap: giving advice to other people that you mightn’t have taken yourself. For example, I’ve been pestering my sister to portion off a good chunk of her wedding funds for a honeymoon, when the time comes. Did I do this? No, I did not. In fact, Joe and I drove a couple hours north from my hometown and stayed at a friend’s cottage for a few days, for free. We went to breakfast at an old victorian inn, got pizza delivery, watched movies and went for bike rides around the lake. But now, six years later, I’m planning trips with two young kids—and I really do love traveling with them, believe me—and I see starkly the things we simply can’t do with their little fingers dug into our hair and entwined around our necks. So, yes, I would like to see my sister go to Thailand for a month (I think of Thailand because my friend Natalie has been posting photos on instagram and they have been stunning). I would like to see her walk a tight rope across a jungle and live on a canoe for a few days. And then I could clap my hands as a satisfied older sister, having plucked just one fly from the honey before I passed the jar to her.
Giving advice is on my mind because my (internet) friend Ashley asked me to update my Eleven Thoughts for New Moms post from a year ago. She posted my updated edition this week on her blog Hither and Thither. It’s a serious honor to be on her blog, no one does content quite like Ashley, and I’m really happy that people like the post. But I did most of those things wrong the first time around and my advice should be taken with a fingerful of salt and slice of lime.
I once attended a dinner party where we were all asked what was best bit of advice that we’d ever been given. Many of the guests had great anecdotes to share. I did not. I couldn’t figure out why, until I realized that I usually don’t take other people’s advice. ha! What about you? Best advice you’ve received, on any topic?
8 Comments
Brooke Pulver
Just perfect Rachel – love this. Oh how I wish I would have walked around with maybe a little less clothing on while the getting was really really good. Sometimes I too want to advise the young on this.
Rachael Ringenberg
This made me laugh!
Butternut B
I am in that stage- longing for a child but need to wait a couple more years- and I’m young and I have a unbabied body, but I still can’t wear a crop top. Maybe in summer. It’s a little rainy here in England.
http://www.butternutb.wordpress.com
Julie
I wrote a collection of essays as a senior in high school entitled ‘Always Wear Comfortable Shoes’ – I am still amazed at my own wisdom (in this narrow arena). It’s impossible to enjoy yourself when your feet hurt.
Rachael Ringenberg
love. it.
Erin
A bit trite to many, but came to me when I needed it—here’s the gist: A best friend should know when to both make an excuse for you (forgive), as well as when to give you a swift kick in the ass (spur on). Hold on to a friend who does this for you, but best of all, learn how to do both of these things for yourself.
Leighton Cusack
I was going to post this and now that I saw you’re reading East of Eden even more relevant. There is a quote from Adam Trask – “Advice is a givers gift.”
Ashley Muir Bruhn
The honeymoon advice is brilliant—even though any honeymoon is invariably pretty perfect, right? My two cents: you guys should still go to Thailand (just stay in a nice hotel with a baby pool instead of on the canoe ;). But I understand about not taking advice–guilty as charged!
Thank you for the kind words (and the guest post!) xo